Today I take you away from our normal talk of pillows and paint colors to share my heart with you and share a very exciting announcement. Have you ever felt stuck in a rut due to your own fear of failure? Have you fought off a calling or desire simply because it's easier to stay still?
Today I launched my very first Kickstarter to fund the creation of a 5 song musical EP that will be releasing early 2016. I have a pep in my step and a lump in my throat simultaneously as I talk about this project as it is so near and dear to my heart.
For as long as I can remember, music has been a huge part of my identity. I was the singer and the songwriter. That was my label, and I wore it like a proud badge. I began writing songs when I was probably 6 years old, and I was constantly performing for family and friends and anyone who would listen to me. Music has always made me feel alive.
I began performing publicly around age 10 and leading worship at my church around age 13. I started voice lessons at 12. I sang my way through middle school and high school. All I wanted to do in college was sing, so I got a commercial voice (think contemporary music rather than classical) degree at Belmont University with an emphasis in songwriting. I thrived. I spent hours every week in the practice rooms and really fell in love with songwriting more than ever before. Once again, I proudly wore the nametag that said "I'm a singer."
I released my first recorded project in February 2012 at the tail end of my senior year of college. It was a senior project for my then-fiance (now husband), and we did the best we knew how. I'm proud of it because it is a timestamp of the season of life I was in at that point (even though I would do a lot of things differently now).
In the first year after the creation of that project, I graduated college, got married, began learning to be a wife, started a full time job as a marketing manager at a record label, and bought a house. Throughout that year of change and of learning who I am as an adult, I began to have doubts about my musical abilities. Little lies about my worth began creeping in, and I struggled with fear, writers block, and apathy. I carried fear of failure around like a weight and let the excuse of being too busy dictate my dreams.
Life has continued in a wonderful, colorful, vibrant blur over the last three years. I have worked hard at a 9-to-5 job in the music industry that I never thought I would have. I'm a radio promoter at a record label, and I get to work with the best team. I didn't picture myself on the business side of the music industry, but I love it and I have been blessed to be placed in it.
Marriage has been the most wonderful experience of my life. I have begun to understand myself better and what passions drive me. I have developed a love for interior design. I have spent time learning how to cook and keep a home and budget and be a grown up.
I have kept up with songwriting over the last few years. I have scheduled cowrites (songwriting sessions with other people) in the evenings after work and spent time writing on my own. I have dreamt of a new album or EP, but I didn't actually get serious about it until the top of 2015 when all of my stalling and fear hit me over the head and I realized what I had been doing.
God has been preparing me. He has been shaping my heart and teaching me that my music is NOT about me. My voice is not my own. My songs are not my own. My career is not my own. My home is not my own. God is in control, and life is so much better when He is.
For so much of my life, I have put my identity in my music. I didn't realize I was doing it, but I was. When I started to think about not being successful as a musician or releasing music and having the people around me tell me it was bad, I became paralyzed. It's easier to do nothing than to take a risk.
But I realized something important. I realized that all I can do is be faithful with the gifts God has given me now.
So, I'm releasing an EP. I'm being vulnerable, I'm sharing some songs, and I'm recording a 5 song album.
But, I'm asking for help. YOUR help if you're interested.
I need to raise $7,000 in 30 days. That's scary! That money goes toward recording the album, kickstarter fees, marketing, and some really fun rewards. If you are able to donate any amount, I have some fun gifts and prizes to give back to you. There are all kinds of details here: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/930334933/chandler-roberts-the-color-ep
If you follow me on Instagram, you will likely see some posts about this. Don't worry. I'm not abandoning my design ship. I still love home, decorating, and DIY. I just have another project that has been quiet for a while and is now something I get to talk about more!
Thanks for reading this little life update and a diversion from home design. Coming soon...I want to show you an update on the cutest little patio we created!